Last session ended with the Dungeon Master asking…

“…Are you sure?”

The party answered…

“Absolutely.”

Narrator: They were, in fact, not sure.
The barbarian kicked in the wrong door.
The rogue looted the room before anyone checked for traps.
The wizard started reading a spell description halfway through casting it.
The cleric quietly accepted that healing wasn’t going to be enough.
Then…

The bard looked the dragon dead in the eye and said… “I seduce the dragon.”

The Dungeon Master closed the campaign notebook.
Rubbed both temples.
And accepted that none of the carefully written story was going to survive this session.

Welcome to Chapter Six of our Dungeons & Dragons embroidery campaign!

Player Choices:
“Seduce the Dragon”

“The Party’s Plan — It’s a Bad One”

“That’s What My Character Would Do”

“Necromancy Is Just Recycling”

1 Hit Point

Bard — “Seduce the Problem”

Character Sheet
Special Ability: Question Every Decision
Armor Class: Fits 4×4 hoops
Hit Points: Upgraded for 5×7 applique
Inventory: Matching fobs & patches
Treasure Hoard: Bargain bundles available

By the end of the session…

The dragon was flirting.

The rogue had somehow become mayor.

The barbarian was banned from another city.

The wizard had accidentally started a small fire.

And the Dungeon Master had quietly begun googling, “How to TPK a party without looking suspicious.”

Honestly…

It was the best session they’d had in months.