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STITCHIN’ UP LIKE DYNAMITE!
🎶 Woke up late, coffee’s cold,Got a hundred patterns that I’ve never sewn!Thread’s a mess, cat’s in the hoop,There’s a purple little weirdo in my ...
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NEW ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: ESCAPED CONTAINMENT!
Congratulations, Crawlers! You’ve survived eighteen floors of psychological trauma, questionable alliances, and entertainment programming that would violate the Geneva Convention on approximately 47 planets. And ...
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FLOOR 18: THE AUDIENCE IS WATCHING
SYSTEM ANNOUNCEMENT Crawlers, congratulations. You have reached Floor 18. Against all odds, you are still alive. This is unfortunate for several people who bet against ...
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Boss Battle: Poor Life Choices
SYSTEM ANNOUNCEMENT Crawlers, your mandatory orientation is now complete. Did you read all eight books? Of course you didn’t. You glanced at the bookmarks, equipped ...
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SYSTEM ANNOUNCEMENT
Crawlers, management believed that three Dungeon Crawler Carl drops would be sufficient. Management was wrong. Due to continued customer harassment, poor impulse control and the ...
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MISH MASH SUCCOTASH DROP!!!
What’s the difference between a Mish Mash Succotash Drop and a Widows & Orphans Drop, you ask? Well, a Widows & Orphans Drop is usually ...
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