Ah, tech week—a magical time when chaos reigns supreme, cardboard boxes become treasures, and you somehow end up with 18 bruises, half a gallon of paint under your nails, and glue in your hair. If you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to wrangle teenagers, power tools, and questionable physics to create stage magic, let me take you behind the scenes.

December 9, 2011
I weep for the future. Today, I had to give six teenagers a hammer FAM (military speak for “familiarization”). SERIOUSLY?!?

December 12, 2011
Saturday was tech day for the drama babies, and we had to finish building the set. The tools included a hammer, miter saw, drill, and power screwdriver.

WARNING: In about 10 years, do not drive on a bridge, through a tunnel, or into any newly built building. Our “future” can’t even build a cardboard box fort, let alone maintain current levels of civil engineering.

Somehow, everyone left with the same number of appendages they arrived with. Next week, we’re painting the set. They can’t possibly screw up using a paintbrush… can they?

September 14, 2012
My Tech Director is graduating this year, so the competition to replace them is already fierce. Here’s what each candidate has promised to win me over:

• Candidate 1: “I promise, if I’m Tech Director, I won’t let anyone nail a flat (9-foot-tall backdrop) to the hallway floor.”
• Candidate 2: “I promise, if I’m Tech Director, I won’t let anyone paint themselves—or anyone else—head to toe with set paint.”
• Candidate 3: “I promise, if I’m Tech Director, I won’t nail a flat to the hallway floor or paint myself head to toe all black ever again.”

This is what we call stiff competition.

October 9, 2014

Want to know how I know tech is in full swing? I have 18 new bruises—none of which I can explain.

I scrubbed my hands after tech yesterday, and yet, last night I found half a gallon of paint under my nails. I THINK that’s glue in my hair. I KNOW that’s a splinter in the palm of my hand.

Yesterday, I said, “Oh! You’re throwing that cardboard box out? Can we have it? We need to make two coffins, and I’m short on cardboard!”

I drive to school carefully inspecting what people leave out for trash pickup, hoping to repurpose it into set pieces. I spend my free time puzzling over how to defy physics and fit an 8’x4′ piece of plywood into my Mini.

Yup, tech’s in full swing.

December 14, 2014

This batch of drama kids is wholly unimpressed with the magic that is my brain.

Yesterday, we built a tranquilizing chair based solely on a picture of a 19th-century model in a museum. No blueprints, no instructions—just my brain, five 2x4s, a sheet of 1/2″ plywood, a box of screws, five tech kids, four hours, and a whole lot of “this should work.”

When it was done, the actors and director shrugged and said, “Yeah, that’s not bad.”

Pfffffffft.

December 13, 2014

In case anyone is wondering about the weird-ass set we’re building: Our One-Act competition play this year is The Insanity of Mary Girard.

Go ahead—Google the synopsis. It’ll all make sense.

January 6, 2015
The sweatshop is coming along okay. Yesterday, the girls sewed sleeves onto five dresses. Watching them attempt this was like watching monkeys try to have carnal relations with a football.

BUT—be proud of me—I stood back, gave instructions, and made them redo their mistakes instead of stepping in and saying, “Here, just let me do it.” At this rate, costuming will be done by Presidents’ Day.

Unfortunately, competition is in less than two weeks. LOL. I may yet end up sewing costumes at home this weekend.

Final Thoughts

Tech week is where magic meets madness. It’s bruises, splinters, and more paint under your nails than on the set. It’s balancing chaos with creativity and watching a group of teenagers transform a pile of wood and screws into something amazing (even if they paint themselves in the process).

But tech week is also where bonds are built. It’s where you see kids grow—taking risks, solving problems, and learning that teamwork is just as important as technique. And as much as I joke about the madness, there’s no better feeling than seeing the pride on their faces when the curtain rises.

Here’s to another tech season filled with glue, cardboard, and unforgettable memories.

1. Have you ever had to teach someone a skill you thought was basic (like using a hammer)? How did it go?

2. What’s the strangest or most creative thing you’ve ever built?

3. If you’ve worked on a theater production (or a similar large project), what’s your funniest or most memorable tech-week moment?