Being a drama sponsor isn’t just about directing plays—it’s about sewing costumes, hunting down Godzilla toys, and surviving soup-sandwich rehearsals with your sanity intact. Welcome to my life as a Drama Momma, where no weekend is safe, and every play comes with a side of chaos.

April 23, 2012
So this weekend I sewed an 18th c. British naval captain’s jacket, Madhatter’s vest, guard’s tunic, Snow White’s dress, pirate flag, false flag, and the Queen’s tablecloth. Two thoughts:

1. I want my weekend back.
2. What would have happened if the person they drafted for the drama coach couldn’t sew… or work power tools… or, as Scott so astutely pointed out, subsidize the complete lack of funds the organization started with?!

When does summer get here?

May 14, 2012
For those who have been waiting with bated breath, the shows went off without a hitch. The kids were fabulous, the audience was entertained, and we had the largest attendance of any BHS fine arts performance this year—over 200 people. Between advertising sales and ticket sales, the theater department will be financially self-sufficient next year. HOLY COW!!!

In related news, I get my life back! No more five days a week until 6 PM rehearsals, no more sewing costumes in the dead of night, and—most importantly—no more sending the poor beleaguered husband out on 50 errands to find a plastic 5-inch dagger, wood grain fabric, and a compass. I love you, baby!

Thanks to all my friends who came out to support our shows! A special shout-out to Lelane, who not only found an abacus for the show but bought and delivered it. I love you, man!

September 16, 2012
Okay, for all you who LOVE to shop (because we know I fracking hate it), here is the Fall Play scavenger hunt list of items we didn’t source today. If you find ANY of these, let me know:

• 6 to 8 plastic toy boats (larger than 4-5″)—Who knew there was a plastic toy boat season? Apparently, this ain’t it.
• 3 grog mugs/tankards (cheap plastic preferred—these are kids, after all).
• Fake butcher’s knife or meat cleaver.
• Fake pie.
• A 3-foot-tall large dinosaur (inflatable, stuffed, or foam).
• Wind-up or remote-control Godzilla/dinosaur (at least 2 feet tall).

Yes, I’ve tried: Dollar Store, We B Toys, Michaels, Wally World, Target, Home Depot, Lowe’s.

If you have any of the above items you can loan to BHS Drama until October 28, it would be much appreciated.

(Fricking fracking bracking briting son of a scum-munching whore dog… God, I hate the scavenger hunt/purchase order/bookkeeping end of this crap.)

September 29, 2012
Today will be an exercise in kicking ass and taking names. Drama Baby rehearsal and they are soup sandwiches!!!! Tech is going to get the ballast out of their butts and finish the set today.

The Hamlet section is going to run their scene so many times that when a teacher asks them a question on Monday, they’re going to respond with play lines. My stage manager is going to redefine the term “work” by actually doing some, and I swear on a stack of scripts, if she backtalks me again, she’ll be eating those same damn scripts—one at a time.

If you’re going to suck away my Saturday, you’re going to show me something for it. Grouchy Drama Sponsor is GROUCHY…

October 17, 2012

One pair of breeches recut and resewn, three pairs of breeches with elastic added, two kilts made from scratch, one monk’s habit made from scratch, and a guard’s tunic begun.

I think that’s enough for one night. I swear on all that is holy, I am not costuming another play this year. They can go on stage naked for all I care at this point… grumble grumble grumble, bitch bitch bitch.

Final Thought:

Being a Drama Momma is as exhausting as it is rewarding. It’s about balancing creativity with chaos, learning to laugh through frustration, and watching kids transform from soup sandwiches into shining stars. Sure, it’s messy—think scavenger hunts, midnight sewing sessions, and endless rehearsals—but when the curtain rises, the magic happens. It’s in those moments that you realize every late night, every grumble, and every groan was worth it.

1. What’s the most ridiculous scavenger hunt item you’ve ever had to find or buy?
2. Teachers: What’s your best “drama kids” story from your own experience?
3. How do you recharge after a chaotic project or event?